Once you balance everything out it’ll work out. Right? Wrong!
How many times have we been told that? As you get older you’ll find the tools that you need to balance out your life. Annnnttttt wrong!
I was watching one of my fav tv franchises The housewives of bravo TV and I heard one house wife say, “yeah I’m trying to balance being a mom, wife and entrepreneur. I’m still tryna figure that out!” In my head I said, “sis! Whereee?” Good luck! Sounds like stress! But hey! In our society this is what we’re told when it comes to wanting to have “the good life”. In order to grind and make it to the top “you have to find a balance they say.” I know there are so many practices and rituals that believe life is about creating balance and its principles are founded on ways to keep balance. I respect all forms of beliefs. I’m simply challenging wording And mentality that connects to the connotation. The words that we use induce the actions that we make.
The common Image of balance used in society, is the balance scale that had two measly pans being suspended and in a perfect coordination between one another. It looks so soothing and ideal to ever think life can look like this! Sounds astonishing. Still. Consistent and calculated. But is life any of those things?
I used to say “ I’m balancing my life!” What I really meant to say was, I was dealing with a particular issue that seemed to be weighing heavily or interfering with “my flow” and I needed to find a way to MAINTAIN and ADJUST it with the rest of my life.
I mean cmon think about it, the word “balance” can seem like such a task and NEVER really achievable. Life is always moving; from this place we call earth, to the creatures that inhabit it. What a role it would take to try to create a steady result from a consistently moving figure. However," what we can do is, Accept.Relate.Release. Yeah I said it!
The first step of acceptance is that whatever the turbulence is, it won’t just go away. You get to do something about it!
Next step is HOW can I RELATE or connect this turbulent task to what is ALREADY happening? It doesn’t mean that you have to be a Dorothy and settle for a "toe up" town after a cyclone but the question should be, “what small action can I take to alleviate the pressure while continuing “my flow”? So it’s being healthily incorporated. I know I know, the question “if it’s turbulent then why would you want to keep it?” I don’t know if it is so much of keeping this matter or molding the matter into what you need it be, to move forward in your life. Yes sounds crazy! Almost like a Potter and the Clay. The lump of clay is present however you get to control how wide, how deep, how narrow, you would like this vessel to be, amongst the other ones that you have.
From my experience, this is the hardest part of the process because in order to do so, control has to be diminished and trust internally has to be omitted. In layman’s terms, live your life and continue to adjust. Don’t put the pressure on yourself to be perfect!
This process has the potential to make you stronger and healthier mentally and emotionally. IT has nothing to do with perfection.(Which is what I often struggle with!) When we get caught in perfection, we miss the lessons and we miss opportunities of growth. These new opportunities create new possibilities. Also, because life is about generosity, it can be shared and passed along to another person looking to overcome the similar situation that you were experiencing. Sometimes I still say "balance", however I try to check my mindset around the word. Is this me giving a place to unrealistic perfection? If so I quickly remind myself that life is a journey and a process.
"From a poppy field growing in the spring , a snow storm migrating to the west, a windy day, or the habitat of polar bears, no part of life is steady. The universe itself has to make adjustments to keep life going. What makes us different?"
-BelRaye of BelBump